Traditions, Customs and Rituals
Asian weddings can be a lengthy process due to their vast customs and traditions. I’ve been to over five weddings this Autumn to observe what they exactly entail and why. It’s interesting that the majority of Pakistanis continue to follow this cultural trend of marriage, regardless of how ‘British’ they may be.
In this post I’ll explore the typical Pakistani Muslim wedding from beginning to end. Alongside aiming to explore whether these practices conflict with Islam; is there a boundary?
Initial Meeting/s
Most arranged marriages and even those of choice (i.e lovers) begin with the boys family approaching the prospective girl. The family will boast their son’s
caring nature, his wage & how they feel the girl is suitable. The fella will usually sit like a quiet shy boy to impress the in-laws and shortly the girl will walk in to serve tea- and both will take a peek on the sly . Some parents are happy for them to speak in private but otherwise, once the parents are convinced- the boy and girl are set to be hitched!
caring nature, his wage & how they feel the girl is suitable. The fella will usually sit like a quiet shy boy to impress the in-laws and shortly the girl will walk in to serve tea- and both will take a peek on the sly . Some parents are happy for them to speak in private but otherwise, once the parents are convinced- the boy and girl are set to be hitched!
The girls family will usually be hesitant in accepting right away, to show that they aren’t giving her up so easily- so there may be more than one meeting.
Proposal
The parents will propose on behalf of their son; they’ll present sweets and gifts for the girl- maybe to butter her up a bit? If the proposal is accepted, the girl’s parents will give their word, that they truly accept (otherwise known as zabaan). This is to ensure there’s no backing out later; it was common for people to make promises and then break them at a better bargain.
Engagement Party
Engagement party is a party held to celebrate a couple's recent engagement and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party, but many modern couples host their own celebration.
The families will hold an engagement party, which is a formal ceremony to mark the coming together of the two people, in the presence of close family members. The Groom’s family will approach the Bride and ask for her hand in marriage- rings are now commonly exchanged between the couple. Prayers and blessings will be read and cake will be cut. From this point the wedding day is priority for everyone, dates are penciled in diaries and everyone prepares!
Best man/Bridesmaid – The family will choose the Best man/Bridesmaid, they tend to be really good family friends and people who’ll assist the bride/groom effectively. The Family normally take sweets along as this a formal tradition.
Nikkah
The first major ceremony that will take place is the Nikkah- this is the signing of a marriage contract between the couple. This should be done in front of two witnesses at minimum but usually the family and close relatives will attend. The groom will also provide a Dowry, this is financial security for the girl; normally ranging.
